Yes,I’m not American person and my language opportunities are very limited.During the conversation appear the moments and situations very often,wenn I cannot understand the sentense or some words.If I cannot understand something in the important moment ,I have to ask again and again my coworkers lease,repeat !I didn’t uderstand.Very often American try to help and support my efforts in the improving of my english, but not always.Very often they can ignore my guestion about my misunderstanding and I cannot keep the situation under my control.Of course,after this stupid for me conditions,I’m filling me very upset and even don’t want tospeak and work.I have in this moment only one wish-leaf this place and relax without all these language problems.But I must overcome myself even I didn’t understand and lost /how in russia the people say /the links of the conversation.Yes,and Very often I’m afraid to ask something second time,because I see the smiles on the faces of my manage or our secretery in the office.Sometimes my coworkers use my not good knowledges in english for tne loughing on me or speak each other and don’t pay on me attention.It,s very upset.In my native country I could communicate with other people without problems,but in this country I have very big problems for the expresson of my ideas aqnd senses and my not good english knowledges disturb me to decide my everyday’s guestions and things.
sometimes I’m afraid fo making me to change some aspects of my life, but I realize that I have to do it at the end of a long thinking time; after all I have to change at least one aspect of my life to feel that I’m ok with myself. I feel that when people is enough strong to change his or her life is enough strong to build a better him/herself.
I would like to change completely, but it is not posible because it is not at all posible; I mean that it is imposible because people have to preserv their escence, and their escence means that some aspects of a person’s life can should stay for ever because it represents his way of being and his/her personality.
when i came to US i was afraid of talking in english, i saw a lot of people that try to speak but fail, everyhing began when i entered school, i have a lot of esl classes but also i had 2 regular classes since that day i learned that people must study and work a lot to achieve what they want, i was called to read one part of a book in front of all the people, so i started to read, i was believeing in myself, so i started reading, i still remembered the faces of all the regular guys when i said the first 5 words … omg wanted to cry because everybody was laughing , i couldn’t believe that i dare to read withouth knowing english, so i just be quiet, and after that day i started to work as hard as i could, 5 months later, i went from esl beginners to advanced, when i finished middle school i start high school, i was supposed to be esl advanced again but the teacher changed me to regular classes, that day i was amazed how much i had improved my enlglish, but now that i know how to defend myself, i am still afraid of misspronounce some words , sometime i think that people will laugh when i talk, i hope i can beat that feeling of being afraid……
I have never been afraid of talking English except at school. When I started to talk English with people I never felt afraid. But when I was at my first language travel in Torquay 1981 if found it difficult to understund what people where sayong to me as some of them where talking to fast. Now I am not afraid to tell people to talk more slowly.
Comment by Maria Ebbeskog — January 28, 2008 @ 11:39