60. Where Is That Darn Battery?

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The Buick wouldn’t start. Considering it was 15 old, this shouldn’t have been a surprise. But, battery wasn’t that old. It was a Die , sold by Sears. Gerard had bought it six ago, but it was a 100-month battery. It fully guaranteed for the first 12 months, and pro-rated after that.

Gerard called Sears. The service told him he would probably get “$10 to ” credit toward a new battery. Gerard wondered how could be such a $30 range, but he ’t bother to ask. If the problem was electrical, asked the service rep, what would Sears fix? rep said Sears only replaced alternators and starters; the electrical problem involved something else, Gerard would to take it to the dealer.

Gerard went to pull the battery out of his car he could recharge it overnight. Then he could the battery up the next day and use meter to see if the electrical system was properly. He opened the hood. He looked. He some more. Where was the battery?! Had someone it?

He opened the manual. The manual said about the location of the battery. He called his friend Bryan. Bryan told him that he looking in the wrong place; the battery was the rear seat. Gerard scoffed. “Nobody puts a under the rear seat—except Volkswagen,” he told Bryan.

, it’s got to be somewhere if it’s not the hood,” Bryan replied. Gerard went back out the Buick and lifted up the rear seat. found a few coins, some real old chewing , a paperback novel, and a watch battery—but no battery.

Enough was enough. Gerard called AAA’s emergency service. Before the tow truck driver towed the to Sears, Gerard asked him if he knew the battery was. “Oh, sure,” he said. “It’s the hood, but you’d never know it because ’s completely hidden by the big, white plastic windshield reservoir.”