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60. Where Is That Darn Battery?
The Buick wouldn’t start. Considering it was 15
old, this shouldn’t have been a surprise. But,
battery wasn’t that old. It was a Die
, sold by Sears. Gerard had bought it six
ago, but it was a 100-month battery. It
fully guaranteed for the first 12 months, and
pro-rated after that.
Gerard called Sears. The service
told him he would probably get “$10 to
” credit toward a new battery. Gerard wondered how
could be such a $30 range, but he
’t bother to ask. If the problem was electrical,
asked the service rep, what would Sears fix?
rep said Sears only replaced alternators and starters;
the electrical problem involved something else, Gerard would
to take it to the dealer.
to pull the battery out of his car
he could recharge it overnight. Then he could
the battery up the next day and use
meter to see if the electrical system was
properly. He opened the hood. He looked. He
some more. Where was the battery?! Had someone
He opened the manual. The manual said
about the location of the battery. He called
his friend Bryan. Bryan told him that he
looking in the wrong place; the battery was
the rear seat. Gerard scoffed. “Nobody puts a
under the rear seat—except Volkswagen,” he told Bryan.
, it’s got to be somewhere if it’s not
the hood,” Bryan replied. Gerard went back out
the Buick and lifted up the rear seat.
found a few coins, some real old chewing
, a paperback novel, and a watch battery—but no
Enough was enough. Gerard called AAA’s emergency
service. Before the tow truck driver towed the
to Sears, Gerard asked him if he knew
the battery was. “Oh, sure,” he said. “It’s
the hood, but you’d never know it because
’s completely hidden by the big, white plastic windshield