133. I’m No Alcoholic!

“Brigham, you really ought to think about stopping ,” Lionel said. “People are talking.” He brought up subject as they were walking to lunch. Brigham had a couple of beers for lunch, with couple of bean burritos.
“Who cares?” Brigham asked. “ doesn’t interfere with my work. I’ve never killed while driving. In fact, I haven’t even gotten ticket for drunk driving. Not only that, but ’m a better driver with a buzz than most are when they’re sober. Why should I quit? enjoy my beer—it makes me feel good. It the edge off a tough day. I don’t crazy things, and I don’t get mean and after I have a few. Most of the , I drink at home, alone, watching TV. I’m bothering or hurting anyone. What harm is there that?”
“What harm? You told me that you up to get another beer last week and crashed into your front door so hard that got a lump on your forehead. I can see the bruise. You were trying to walk your kitchen, but instead you staggered into your door! Your door is 15 feet away from refrigerator.”
“I just stood up too fast. It ’t the beer. It’s called low blood pressure. And time, I’ll just keep my mouth shut about happens in my home.”
“Do you remember William , the guy in the movie ‘Network’? He was top of the world, but he died alone drunk in his hotel room after he cracked skull on the corner of a coffee table.”
, but I’m not William Holden, and my coffee doesn’t have any corners—it’s oval.”