22. Mayor Denies Hit-and-Run Charge

The mayor of Sacrapinto, J.K. Choi, 35, was with hit-and-run driving last night by the town . A freshly killed calf was discovered lying in middle of Arlington Drive at about 10:00 p.m. witness, 20-year-old Emily Parker, said she saw the hit the calf and keep going. She didn’t the driver but she did recognize the hood on the car—a pair of bull horns.
“Oh, ,” Emily said, “I know that’s the mayor’s car. ’s the only car in town with bull horns the hood.” Asked how she could see the horns at night, she replied, “Oh, didn’t you ? A couple of months ago the mayor got horns neonized, so they have this soft purple at night. They’re really cool-looking.”
The sheriff drove to the mayor’s house, which is about five from city hall, and found the mayor washing 1972 Kadillac. He asked why the mayor was his car so late at night. “Because that’s there’s no hot sun that causes the car dry so fast that you have sun streaks. ’t you know anything, sheriff?”
The sheriff pointed out one of the horns was broken at the . “When did that happen?” he asked. “When did happen?” Choi asked. “Oh, good grief! I never noticed that! Do you know how expensive these are? They don’t grow on trees, you know. wonder if I can find the missing piece superglue it back on.”
The sheriff then showed mayor the tip of a bull horn. “Do think this is the missing piece?” The mayor astounded. He looked at it, turned it over his hands, and then placed it on the , where it fit perfectly. “That’s fantastic, sheriff! Thank so much! Where did you find it?”
“Where I find it? It was next to Farmer ’s calf that you killed back there about an ago.” The mayor’s mouth dropped open. “Calf! What ? What are you talking about? I had no . I thought I hit a speed bump. What his calf doing out in the middle of road in the middle of the night?
“We’ll this in court. I’m an innocent man. By way, get that calf over to Lester’s butcher right now. We’ll have us a big barbecue at city hall. And don’t forget to invite Brown. I know he’ll forgive me after he Lester’s world-famous rib eye.”