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37. Bathtub Blues
A middle-aged man with a long beard was
by the police for disorderly conduct and property
. “More charges might be added later,” said a
The man, identified as Bill Wild, checked
the Motel Five last night about an hour
sunset. Telling the clerk that he would be
four nights, he paid cash in advance. He
asked her where a grocery store was. She
that the nearest grocery store was John-Johns, which
only two blocks away.
The police said that
went to John-Johns and purchased three gallons of
and four gallons of chocolate syrup. The checker
him what the occasion was. He replied, “I’m
to become a sweeter person.” The checker smiled
Wild drove back to the motel.
opened all seven containers and poured them into
bathtub. He added warm water to the mix.
he placed his boom box on the bathroom
next to the tub. He tuned the radio
an opera station. He got undressed, hopped into
tub, and started singing loudly with the music.
minutes later, the lodgers in the room next
phoned the clerk. She banged on Wild’s door,
he kept singing. She phoned his room, but
didn’t answer. Then she called the police, who
“Well, at least he paid in advance,”
the clerk. “That money will help pay for
plumber.” The bathtub drain was completely clogged. The
remained full of chocolate and honey.
know about people,” said the clerk. “He seemed
nice and friendly. Who’d have thought he was
bathtub-singing nut?” The police said this was the
time that Wild had been arrested for this